Disappear

One, two, three, burn.

If only...

One, two, three, fly.
One, two, three, disappear.
One, two, three, gone.
One, two, three, silence...

Breathe, Andrea, breathe.

I'm in over my head. That and the opposite.

Crazy. Twisted, I am.

Is this as hard as it gets? No. Just breathe, Andrea, breathe.

Something has gotten the better of me. I tried escaping it, no use. I keep falling back in. What makes it harder is that they all tell me to hold on to it. They don't know what happens to me when I do. It's like a mystery, even to myself. How this works. What trick. What potion. What magic. It's a blessing and a curse. Not a curse. But it's bringing me down. It scares the hell out of me. It's an illusion that makes love with reality. Or the other way around. But I can't just let it go. It's what I can't resist. I tried resisting. For a while, escaping (or pretending to) wasn't so bad. I was okay. But it drove me nuts. Ironically, it drives me nuts when I hold on to it too! So what am I to do? It brings out the best and the worst in me. It's scares me because I know what it could do to me. This is the most ironic thing ever. It's draining me while making me happy. I'm scared of what I might become because of this. It scares and excites. What could be more ironic... It's like a drug. The only difference is, you don't know what to expect. This is my drug.

Now I know, now I understand...
what they could not.

Because it's happening to me.

"This too shall pass." I don't think so. But I do hope it would.

Sigh and a thousand more...

Breathe, Andrea, breathe. Breathe and disappear.
...And then breathe again.

One, two, three...