Dear John SERIES

Dear John: my version. How deep? How shallow? How do you keep the music playing? PART 2

Dear John,

Or not.

Again, this is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. It’s merely for my silently screaming heart that’s been dying to vent. But if you happen to come across this note… This is part of the remedy, so bear with it. Don’t make a fuss out of it.

How deep? How shallow? How do you keep the music playing? I’m not oblivious to the situation. But I mean, that’s it? She should just let him go? Just like that. She just has to accept that she lost one of her most treasured friends? Seven years of friendship. Everything was goin’ right. Then the romantic part came like a hurricane. I’ve done my part of trying to restore what we lost—friendship. I know we’re okay. That is if “okay” means not fighting, no hard feelings and all… but. But when we talk, he’s just not there. He’s not who I used to talk to. Not who I used to know. Not who I used to like. He’s distant. And I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I know why I want him back so badly. Because he means a lot to me. With all honesty, believe it or not, I want him back as a friend. With how things turned out, I guess a romantic relationship just won’t work. It just made things so complicated and I’m afraid it’ll just happen again. A scratched record. But now I feel like it’s unfair. It’s hard to take in the thought of a dysfunctional romance, but it’s so much harder to take in the thought of a dead friendship. I didn’t want that. I know he didn’t too. Now I’m down to two options: to let him go (one of the hardest things to do), and to keep trying (making myself feel like a desperate fool). So, I got my obvious answer. It just sucks. Again, how deep? How shallow? How do you keep the music playing? The depth of our friendship is now in question. All that’s left to say is… “Ok. Cool.”

Sincerely,
I care. But I’m done here.