I'm fighting. I'm strong.
But it gets so tiring. But I'll fight.
But I'll fight. Not because I'm strong. But because I love you. I gotta want this. Yeah, I'm hella tired. But I wanna (not because I gotta) be strong for you. I'm gonna fight.
But you gotta understand that I need a little silence too. I need some "It's gonna be alright..." myself. I need to disappear somehow. So don't expect me to snap my fingers and make them all go away. Fighting means there's something going against you. So it's hard. It's a challenge. But unlike yesterday, my diamonds won't be kept hidden in my pocket. Although rough and uncut, I'll be holding them in my hands with pride and passion. Fell to the ground once, and then again, and one more time... because of it. And there goes the fear. I just need to feel better. The haze is making everything seem both chaotic and serene. Yeah, irony is my shadow.
I need you to listen. Just listen. Listen and understand. Need I say this a million times? Hahaha.
I'll fight.
But understand that it is hard. To turn it all around. Still, I'll be smiling at you with all my heart and strength. I'm fighting because I love you. Not because I gotta prove something. I'm fighting so you'd think of me whenever you feel like you're losing grip and got almost nothing to hold on to, and you'll be strong. Be stronger than me. I dare you. Be stronger. Because you are.
I got a song in my heart, and it's one that's subtly losing its melody. I won't let it fade. Silently screaming heart, beat louder! You, listen...
And you, BE STRONGER. FIGHT HARDER. Don't let gravity hold you down. Don't let yourself get stuck in that abyss. Recover. Laugh a little. No, a lot. Smile like there are stars. My advice... BREATHE.
If you're like me and you sometimes feel the need to disappear, go ahead. Find silence. Silence screams the truth. We need it sometimes. When others think we are insane, we know those are the moments when we are sane. When others think you are different, we know it's because they are too. Go ahead and disappear. Sometimes it's okay. I know the feeling. I used to think this was all drama. But hell yeah, this is real. I found myself in it. I think to myself, "So, some do feel like this. So this is the feeling..." And most would take their own life. Now I get where they're coming from, and I've seen myself in a scary familiar scenario. Whatever you may call it, however foolish it may sound, or dramatic, I've witnessed it myself. It is hard. And I also know how hard it is to do this, but
Disappear... Then APPEAR AGAIN.
To appear again
is harder than to disappear. But that's the challenge. I dare you as I dare myself. Wait, I dare you to do better. BE STRONGER.
BREATHE.
Don't regret. Learn.
Don't take your life. How can you appear again if you do?
In a seemingly endless tunnel, hold your breath... And wish. Then you'll find that there's an end to each tunnel.
Disappear... Then APPEAR AGAIN.
One, two, three...
:)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Understand
Listen. Understand. Keep.
In the rough... Falling down, holding diamonds, silently screaming.
Do you hear it? Listen.
Listen, please. Understand, please. Keep, please. Read between the lines, please.
Not broken, not dead. Not heard. Not understood.
I just want you to be here with me. Now. I need you to be with me.
I love love. And I'd love to love you who loves. Hahaha. Makes sense? It wouldn't make sense to you.
Sigh... and a thousand more.
Then smile. :)
Right? Right. :|
In the rough... Falling down, holding diamonds, silently screaming.
Do you hear it? Listen.
Listen, please. Understand, please. Keep, please. Read between the lines, please.
Not broken, not dead. Not heard. Not understood.
I just want you to be here with me. Now. I need you to be with me.
I love love. And I'd love to love you who loves. Hahaha. Makes sense? It wouldn't make sense to you.
Sigh... and a thousand more.
Then smile. :)
Right? Right. :|
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Beautifully Beautiful
What is beauty?
Beauty isn't all about looks. Although it is beauty, it's not all that. Beauty through my eyes is someone who inspires and makes things seem likable. I've seen girls who'd turn heads. And girls who'd make people shake heads. And girls who'd do both. What I'm saying is, there are those who got a pretty face, a sexy body, and an awful personality. Beauty: someone who has a pretty face, a sexy body, someone who's a smart ass, witty, endearing, adorable, fierce, talented, and so on. But is that it? I've seen girls who don't look as "beautiful" (according to what media dictates) but are so damn beautiful! Confused? One doesn't need to be someone who looks like a fox or an angel. Beauty is seen inside. Media has distorted the meaning of beauty. But it doesn't mean our standards must be compromised. I'm speaking to those whose minds are shallow. And to those who've been called "ugly" for their outward appearance. Also, to those whose minds think that they are so beautiful and forget what real beauty is about. It doesn't mean we won't strive to become beautiful outside. But we must understand what real beauty is, and strive to be beautiful inside as well. Flaws are inevitable. Because no one is perfect. But to look beyond the flaws of a person and to see the heart is so much better. Love not because you see a beautiful face, but because you see a beautiful heart. Guys, don't be shallow. Even the "ugliest" people steal hearts and make the most beautiful memories. Stop discriminating. Girls want to be loved for who they are, not for what they look. Girls, you are beautiful. And some girls, don't let it get to your head. It's no one's fault we were born to look this way (ugly/beautiful). My message: don't be shallow, don't discriminate, don't think you're ugly, don't think you're too beautiful. And about fashion, if shopping makes you happy because it just does, good. Go ahead. Fashion is a way to express your personality, your passion, your flair. And it makes you feel alive (I would know). But if you shop only so you'll brag about it or because you think you're not beautiful without these, stop. You're wasting time and money. I am a shopaholic too. I love clothes, shoes, accessories, make-up, bags, SHOPS! Wait, I'm changing AM to WAS. I thought of all these, and tried to keep myself from spending all my money on shopping. It was definitely a challenge for me. I avoided passing by shops I love. I'll be honest. It was hard. But I did it! And I'm proud of it. Now, I shop only twice a month. It's a work in progress. And now, I can go to malls wearing a simple tee and jeans/shorts with no/little make-up on and feel fabulous. It's a way of thinking. Just be confident about yourself and understand the real meaning of beauty. That's the trick. You don't need people to tell you you're ugly or beautiful. If your heart is beautiful, don't give a damn to what others say.
Beauty is skin deep.
Cliche, but true.
So, be lovely. Be beautifully beautiful.
*It doesn't only apply to girls. Guys, listen.
Love,
ANDREA
Beauty isn't all about looks. Although it is beauty, it's not all that. Beauty through my eyes is someone who inspires and makes things seem likable. I've seen girls who'd turn heads. And girls who'd make people shake heads. And girls who'd do both. What I'm saying is, there are those who got a pretty face, a sexy body, and an awful personality. Beauty: someone who has a pretty face, a sexy body, someone who's a smart ass, witty, endearing, adorable, fierce, talented, and so on. But is that it? I've seen girls who don't look as "beautiful" (according to what media dictates) but are so damn beautiful! Confused? One doesn't need to be someone who looks like a fox or an angel. Beauty is seen inside. Media has distorted the meaning of beauty. But it doesn't mean our standards must be compromised. I'm speaking to those whose minds are shallow. And to those who've been called "ugly" for their outward appearance. Also, to those whose minds think that they are so beautiful and forget what real beauty is about. It doesn't mean we won't strive to become beautiful outside. But we must understand what real beauty is, and strive to be beautiful inside as well. Flaws are inevitable. Because no one is perfect. But to look beyond the flaws of a person and to see the heart is so much better. Love not because you see a beautiful face, but because you see a beautiful heart. Guys, don't be shallow. Even the "ugliest" people steal hearts and make the most beautiful memories. Stop discriminating. Girls want to be loved for who they are, not for what they look. Girls, you are beautiful. And some girls, don't let it get to your head. It's no one's fault we were born to look this way (ugly/beautiful). My message: don't be shallow, don't discriminate, don't think you're ugly, don't think you're too beautiful. And about fashion, if shopping makes you happy because it just does, good. Go ahead. Fashion is a way to express your personality, your passion, your flair. And it makes you feel alive (I would know). But if you shop only so you'll brag about it or because you think you're not beautiful without these, stop. You're wasting time and money. I am a shopaholic too. I love clothes, shoes, accessories, make-up, bags, SHOPS! Wait, I'm changing AM to WAS. I thought of all these, and tried to keep myself from spending all my money on shopping. It was definitely a challenge for me. I avoided passing by shops I love. I'll be honest. It was hard. But I did it! And I'm proud of it. Now, I shop only twice a month. It's a work in progress. And now, I can go to malls wearing a simple tee and jeans/shorts with no/little make-up on and feel fabulous. It's a way of thinking. Just be confident about yourself and understand the real meaning of beauty. That's the trick. You don't need people to tell you you're ugly or beautiful. If your heart is beautiful, don't give a damn to what others say.
Beauty is skin deep.
Cliche, but true.
So, be lovely. Be beautifully beautiful.
*It doesn't only apply to girls. Guys, listen.
Love,
ANDREA
Disappear
One, two, three, burn.
If only...
One, two, three, fly.
One, two, three, disappear.
One, two, three, gone.
One, two, three, silence...
Breathe, Andrea, breathe.
I'm in over my head. That and the opposite.
Crazy. Twisted, I am.
Is this as hard as it gets? No. Just breathe, Andrea, breathe.
Something has gotten the better of me. I tried escaping it, no use. I keep falling back in. What makes it harder is that they all tell me to hold on to it. They don't know what happens to me when I do. It's like a mystery, even to myself. How this works. What trick. What potion. What magic. It's a blessing and a curse. Not a curse. But it's bringing me down. It scares the hell out of me. It's an illusion that makes love with reality. Or the other way around. But I can't just let it go. It's what I can't resist. I tried resisting. For a while, escaping (or pretending to) wasn't so bad. I was okay. But it drove me nuts. Ironically, it drives me nuts when I hold on to it too! So what am I to do? It brings out the best and the worst in me. It's scares me because I know what it could do to me. This is the most ironic thing ever. It's draining me while making me happy. I'm scared of what I might become because of this. It scares and excites. What could be more ironic... It's like a drug. The only difference is, you don't know what to expect. This is my drug.
Now I know, now I understand...
what they could not.
Because it's happening to me.
"This too shall pass." I don't think so. But I do hope it would.
Sigh and a thousand more...
Breathe, Andrea, breathe. Breathe and disappear.
...And then breathe again.
One, two, three...
If only...
One, two, three, fly.
One, two, three, disappear.
One, two, three, gone.
One, two, three, silence...
Breathe, Andrea, breathe.
I'm in over my head. That and the opposite.
Crazy. Twisted, I am.
Is this as hard as it gets? No. Just breathe, Andrea, breathe.
Something has gotten the better of me. I tried escaping it, no use. I keep falling back in. What makes it harder is that they all tell me to hold on to it. They don't know what happens to me when I do. It's like a mystery, even to myself. How this works. What trick. What potion. What magic. It's a blessing and a curse. Not a curse. But it's bringing me down. It scares the hell out of me. It's an illusion that makes love with reality. Or the other way around. But I can't just let it go. It's what I can't resist. I tried resisting. For a while, escaping (or pretending to) wasn't so bad. I was okay. But it drove me nuts. Ironically, it drives me nuts when I hold on to it too! So what am I to do? It brings out the best and the worst in me. It's scares me because I know what it could do to me. This is the most ironic thing ever. It's draining me while making me happy. I'm scared of what I might become because of this. It scares and excites. What could be more ironic... It's like a drug. The only difference is, you don't know what to expect. This is my drug.
Now I know, now I understand...
what they could not.
Because it's happening to me.
"This too shall pass." I don't think so. But I do hope it would.
Sigh and a thousand more...
Breathe, Andrea, breathe. Breathe and disappear.
...And then breathe again.
One, two, three...
Shut Up!
If you can't say somethin' nice, just shut up.
Guys! Mga PINOY!
SUPPORT FILIPINOS! STOP IT WITH THE INSULTS!
Insult BAD CHARACTER, nothing else.
Kung gusto natin bumangon ang Pilipinas, MAGTULUNGAN TAYO! 'WAG MAGHILAHAN PABABA!
Support OPMusic, OPMovies, Filipino athletes, Filipino writers, Filipino talents, FILIPINOS!
This is a way to HELP make things better. SUPORTA ANG KAILANGAN!
Doesn't mean you should stop enjoying foreign films, fashion, music, et cetera. Doesn't mean you gotta compromise quality.
I mean support local films, fashion, music, et cetera in one way or another PARA SA IYONG BAYAN.
I watch Filipino movies once in a while... and I'm proud of it.
I listen to Filipino music... and I'm loving it.
I support Filipino athletes like Manny Pacquaio... and I'm cheering with all my heart!
Et cetera, et cetera.
Note to Filipino songwriters:
Gagawa nalang kayo ng kanta, sana 'wag bastos o walang kwenta ang lyrics. Tandaan, songs speak and send a message.
Note to Filipino filmmakers:
Gagawa nalang kayo ng pelikula, sana 'wag bastos. Gumawa ng pelikula na pwedeng ipagmalaki.
If you don't care about your country, MAGSIMULA KA NA MAGMAHAL.
And my stand on the recent issue? ARNEL PINEDA...
If you sang the National Anthem (Pacquiao vs. Clottey fight) with sincerity, with pride, and with your heart, I support you.
If you sang it the way you did for selfish reasons, I think you did an awful thing. A thing not worthy of praise.
But because I don't know what his real reasons are, I'll shut up and not make this an issue like how others are making it. Guys, I urge you to do the same.
And if it was for selfish reasons... attack the DEED. Take note, the DEED. If you don't like him, period, tumahimik nalang. 'WAG MURAHIN dahil lang 'di mo siya gusto bilang isang performer.
'WAG MAGHILAHAN PABABA. MAGTULUNGAN. Otherwise, the best thing to do is to...
SHUT UP!
MAHALIN ANG PINAS!
Proud Pinay,
ANDREA
Guys! Mga PINOY!
SUPPORT FILIPINOS! STOP IT WITH THE INSULTS!
Insult BAD CHARACTER, nothing else.
Kung gusto natin bumangon ang Pilipinas, MAGTULUNGAN TAYO! 'WAG MAGHILAHAN PABABA!
Support OPMusic, OPMovies, Filipino athletes, Filipino writers, Filipino talents, FILIPINOS!
This is a way to HELP make things better. SUPORTA ANG KAILANGAN!
Doesn't mean you should stop enjoying foreign films, fashion, music, et cetera. Doesn't mean you gotta compromise quality.
I mean support local films, fashion, music, et cetera in one way or another PARA SA IYONG BAYAN.
I watch Filipino movies once in a while... and I'm proud of it.
I listen to Filipino music... and I'm loving it.
I support Filipino athletes like Manny Pacquaio... and I'm cheering with all my heart!
Et cetera, et cetera.
Note to Filipino songwriters:
Gagawa nalang kayo ng kanta, sana 'wag bastos o walang kwenta ang lyrics. Tandaan, songs speak and send a message.
Note to Filipino filmmakers:
Gagawa nalang kayo ng pelikula, sana 'wag bastos. Gumawa ng pelikula na pwedeng ipagmalaki.
If you don't care about your country, MAGSIMULA KA NA MAGMAHAL.
And my stand on the recent issue? ARNEL PINEDA...
If you sang the National Anthem (Pacquiao vs. Clottey fight) with sincerity, with pride, and with your heart, I support you.
If you sang it the way you did for selfish reasons, I think you did an awful thing. A thing not worthy of praise.
But because I don't know what his real reasons are, I'll shut up and not make this an issue like how others are making it. Guys, I urge you to do the same.
And if it was for selfish reasons... attack the DEED. Take note, the DEED. If you don't like him, period, tumahimik nalang. 'WAG MURAHIN dahil lang 'di mo siya gusto bilang isang performer.
'WAG MAGHILAHAN PABABA. MAGTULUNGAN. Otherwise, the best thing to do is to...
SHUT UP!
MAHALIN ANG PINAS!
Proud Pinay,
ANDREA
Shirt from TEAM MANILA
Peace ya'll Filipinos!
Peace ya'll Filipinos!
Dear God: A little girl's letter to God.
Dear God,
As the song goes...
I want to feel you. I want to touch you. I want to hear your voice.
Take me deeper. Take me higher. I want more. I need more.
I want to adore you like I did before... and more.
"God is with you. And He will see you through."
God, I want to feel you if you are real...
Dear God, I know you are.
I just want to feel you. If this is wrong, I'm sorry. But God, I'm on my knees. I'm on the edge. Keep me. Dear God, don't let me go.
Isaiah 43:2 says you'll be with me. Be with me, God.
Sincerely,
I love you. I know you love me too.
P.S.
I'm not letting go. But God, it's hard to hold on to something I can't feel. I know I'm wrong. Dear God, help!
As the song goes...
I want to feel you. I want to touch you. I want to hear your voice.
Take me deeper. Take me higher. I want more. I need more.
I want to adore you like I did before... and more.
"God is with you. And He will see you through."
God, I want to feel you if you are real...
Dear God, I know you are.
I just want to feel you. If this is wrong, I'm sorry. But God, I'm on my knees. I'm on the edge. Keep me. Dear God, don't let me go.
Isaiah 43:2 says you'll be with me. Be with me, God.
Sincerely,
I love you. I know you love me too.
P.S.
I'm not letting go. But God, it's hard to hold on to something I can't feel. I know I'm wrong. Dear God, help!
Poem To Song
CHERRY RIPE
Lead singer/Lyricist: ANDREA Moredo
Guitarist: RENZ Torres
Drummer: PAOLO Geronimo
Bassist: VERONICA Ferrer
Lead guitarist: WANTED! :))
Walking Home
Original Poem by Emmanuel Torres
Song by Cherry Ripe
A-Ab-F#-D
At midnight I
And a stranger drowse
Toward separate homes
The crunch of small stones underfoot
Reminds us how far we are
Although our shadows would include each other more than once
Streaming forward from the streetlight behind us
Pre-chorus:
How we are closer now (closer now)
How we are closer now
How we are closer now (closer now)
How we are closer now
Chorus:
As from tree stones harden away
And from stones my heels
I think of what I've done, done, done
Or not done
Stars are in their places, naturally
Oh and got nothing to give, nothing to give
But beauty
Although I've wronged lives
And my name walking more than miles away
Pre-chorus
Chorus (2x)
Instrumental
Bridge:
Cancelling all thought of stars
Strange violence
Stranger absences
Cancelling all thought of stars
Strange violence
Stranger absences
It won't blur in my storm
Chorus (2x)
I think of what I've done, done, done
Or not done
Lead singer/Lyricist: ANDREA Moredo
Guitarist: RENZ Torres
Drummer: PAOLO Geronimo
Bassist: VERONICA Ferrer
Lead guitarist: WANTED! :))
Walking Home
Original Poem by Emmanuel Torres
Song by Cherry Ripe
A-Ab-F#-D
At midnight I
And a stranger drowse
Toward separate homes
The crunch of small stones underfoot
Reminds us how far we are
Although our shadows would include each other more than once
Streaming forward from the streetlight behind us
Pre-chorus:
How we are closer now (closer now)
How we are closer now
How we are closer now (closer now)
How we are closer now
Chorus:
As from tree stones harden away
And from stones my heels
I think of what I've done, done, done
Or not done
Stars are in their places, naturally
Oh and got nothing to give, nothing to give
But beauty
Although I've wronged lives
And my name walking more than miles away
Pre-chorus
Chorus (2x)
Instrumental
Bridge:
Cancelling all thought of stars
Strange violence
Stranger absences
Cancelling all thought of stars
Strange violence
Stranger absences
It won't blur in my storm
Chorus (2x)
I think of what I've done, done, done
Or not done
Earphones
A Little Girl's Note: It's when you're not looking that you find.
Don't you think it's strange that it's when you're not looking that you suddenly find what you're looking for? This happens to me often. I lose something, look for it, and not find it. Then suddenly, it appears out of nowhere like magic! Just recently, I lost my earphones. I could've sworn I looked every freakin' where. That's what I thought. I lost hope that I'd ever find it. Then I did find it! After a week or so of not looking for it. It was with me all along. Inside my bag's pocket. The one I'd carry with me everywhere, everyday. And I thought I looked everywhere. And yeah, you're probably like, "Wow! *sarcasm* So what? It's nothing but earphones. What's your point? Get to the point!" But that's what happens. It happens often. Who would've thought it has something to do with life and love... I think about the times when I lose and not find, not look and suddenly find. And it reminds me that it is no different with life and love. We often do things in vain. We often chase cars. We often forget to be still. Being still doesn't mean we just gotta be idle. No. It simply means we must pause, not rush things. Love works like magic. It does things you cannot imagine. It does things you do not expect. It does things that make your eyes sparkle. It makes fireworks out of a blanket. And all that happens when you least expect it. We need not be desperate. We need not be a princess (or prince) looking for her prince charming (or his cinderella). Fairytales are fairytales. In our waking lives, we ought to know that a missing glass shoe won't make such a difference. We ought to differentiate fantasy from reality. I know some who are obsessed with finding someone they could call The One just for the sake of it, do extraordinary things, and get heartbroken in the end. Frustrated, even. I believe in fate. And I don't mean we should stop havin' fun. We must keep havin' fun! But havin' fun only happens when we got the right motives. Don't mistake havin' fun for bein' a player and turning love into a game. Love is not a game. It is a gift. No one has to lose. Only learn. So take that out of your mind. Love is a game only for those who don't take love seriously. And won't get serious love in return. By havin' fun, I mean bein' friends with the opposite sex, getting to know what fun is, together. Just being with that person and loving the moment. Motives shouldn't involve "to get him/her as my girl/boyfriend for the sake of it", "to get laid", "to play him/her", "to boost my ego"... If one day you find yourself liking that person and then falling in love, good. Cupid must've done something right. That's when you pursue her. That's when you let him keep your heart as his own. That's when you call yourselves romantically in love. But that just happens. Love happens. It just happens. Cupid does his thing. We need not steal his bow and arrow. Just wait to be stabbed by Love! Why stab yourself with the wrong arrow? Love love. Just love! Don't love only so that you'll "double" the chances of finding The One. You will. Love for love's sake only. Love is not all about romance. Love involves so much more! Love is all around us. Love your passion (eg. music), your God, your family, your friends, your lovers, your crushes, your country, your faves, your world, your own Wonderland, yourself! Doesn't matter what gender, what age, what race, what religion, whatever! JUST LOVE! No selfish motives needed. We were meant to live and love. So spend time loving yourself and others. Spend time loving what you know you love. Don't waste time chasing cars. Spend time havin' fun. Love is every freakin' where. Embrace it! There is no law that says "Love only romantically." There's no reason to be desperate. No reason to make things complicated. It's when you're not looking that you find. Love the moment of just bein' there with the person who means a lot to you. Don't keep yourself from loving. Be a human BEing. Love. Just love.
Now maybe I wasted your time. I don't know if what I said made sense. Who knows? I might be wrong. I just wrote this to remind myself of my thoughts. Thoughts that might matter, and might not. But I want this and don't care if you don't. I do what I want. So I'm doing this. If it didn't make sense at all, I don't apologize. I'm a little girl whose mind wanders in another world called Wonderland. I'm a little girl who may or may not make sense. And I like that about myself. Yeah, I'm twisted. And I like it. Don't say I didn't warn ya!
If it did make sense? Then I guess risks are worth taking. ;)
Love,
ANDREA
;)
My Dear,
When you left, I bought myself a rusty guitar/piano/clef pendant bling. And a cherry lollipop. To make me feel better.
My dear,
I'm sorry I didn't talk much. Sorry, I was distant. Sorry, you had to listen to the sound of piercing silence. Silence that hurt so much because it screamed the truth. You hurt me and made me feel desperate. Like I was doin' things in vain. Like I don't matter much to you.
But that doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. I still love you, and still miss you. That won't ever change.
Sorry, I ruined the night. I didn't expect this. Sorry.
But I do wish you'll do something. Now that you know what you gotta know. I know she told you.
Do something to keep us. No, to save us. Because I'm tired. It's your turn to move. I want you to love me. And make me feel you do. This distance keeps us apart. Literally and figuratively. Do you want this?
Love,
Your sister
My dear,
I'm sorry I didn't talk much. Sorry, I was distant. Sorry, you had to listen to the sound of piercing silence. Silence that hurt so much because it screamed the truth. You hurt me and made me feel desperate. Like I was doin' things in vain. Like I don't matter much to you.
But that doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. I still love you, and still miss you. That won't ever change.
Sorry, I ruined the night. I didn't expect this. Sorry.
But I do wish you'll do something. Now that you know what you gotta know. I know she told you.
Do something to keep us. No, to save us. Because I'm tired. It's your turn to move. I want you to love me. And make me feel you do. This distance keeps us apart. Literally and figuratively. Do you want this?
Love,
Your sister
Clef
Music Notes, I'm gonna havta face you... Someday, somehow, soon.
Take note of the NOTE. :))
I was playing the piano, strumming the guitar, singing some songs. Just lovin' music. Just lovin' it. Then a thought came to mind. Music notes. Sounds ironic, but I don't like music notes. Not a bit. I can read notes, but I read notes with hesitation. Funny, isn't it? I listen to music, play, sing, and even compose. But I do all that by ear. When it comes to notes, I just... *silence*. All I'm sayin' is, music notes don't blend well with my style. So here's the hard part. I'm gonna havta accept the fact that I'm gonna havta face the music. Why am I sayin' this? Because here's the part where it all makes sense. Life is full of music notes. Problems are like music notes. They are inevitable. And technically, music without notes is silence. Why, even silence has a note. I can't not love music notes because it comes with it. I need it. It is INEVITABLE. Life without problems is not life at all. There are situations in life you want to get rid of. Situations you want to avoid. Situations in life when you say, "Get the hell outta here! I don't need you!" But then you do. And it's never that easy. It's never that simple. Believe me when I say it's not. I say this as a person who has gone through a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean it. Problems won't just go away. I realized that they'll be there always. They'll be there and they won't care who you are. They are the ones who'll be there when nobody else is. They'll hold you. Hold you down. They'll be there as your worst OR best friend. They'll be there. And they'll be there to make you strong. Face it? No thanks. But someday, you just gotta. And when you do, there will be beautiful music. Good times, bad times, complicated ones. High notes, low notes, broken chords. All that make a beautiful melody. Beautiful music. You and I just gotta face life's music. Sing your heart out. Love life and everything that comes with it. Music notes, I'm gonna havta face you... Someday, somehow, soon. Be strong. When faced with life's music notes, say this... "This too shall pass... Someday, somehow, soon."
Love,
Moi
ANDREA
Note:
Don't get me wrong. One may be a good musician without knowing much about music notes. Music notes as inevitable is based on my PERSONAL situation. "I could live without music notes." That statement coming from me used to be valid but not anymore. Soon, I'll be taking up Music Production and I definitely can't escape music notes. Oh, and for the record... Music is still music when you hear it, even without notes. Take note of the word TECHNICALLY in the line that says it's not. I do think it's important to make this clear. I don't want to send the wrong message. Who would want that? ;) So yeah, just FYI. Just so you won't get me wrong. Peace ya'll. ;)
Take note of the NOTE. :))
I was playing the piano, strumming the guitar, singing some songs. Just lovin' music. Just lovin' it. Then a thought came to mind. Music notes. Sounds ironic, but I don't like music notes. Not a bit. I can read notes, but I read notes with hesitation. Funny, isn't it? I listen to music, play, sing, and even compose. But I do all that by ear. When it comes to notes, I just... *silence*. All I'm sayin' is, music notes don't blend well with my style. So here's the hard part. I'm gonna havta accept the fact that I'm gonna havta face the music. Why am I sayin' this? Because here's the part where it all makes sense. Life is full of music notes. Problems are like music notes. They are inevitable. And technically, music without notes is silence. Why, even silence has a note. I can't not love music notes because it comes with it. I need it. It is INEVITABLE. Life without problems is not life at all. There are situations in life you want to get rid of. Situations you want to avoid. Situations in life when you say, "Get the hell outta here! I don't need you!" But then you do. And it's never that easy. It's never that simple. Believe me when I say it's not. I say this as a person who has gone through a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean it. Problems won't just go away. I realized that they'll be there always. They'll be there and they won't care who you are. They are the ones who'll be there when nobody else is. They'll hold you. Hold you down. They'll be there as your worst OR best friend. They'll be there. And they'll be there to make you strong. Face it? No thanks. But someday, you just gotta. And when you do, there will be beautiful music. Good times, bad times, complicated ones. High notes, low notes, broken chords. All that make a beautiful melody. Beautiful music. You and I just gotta face life's music. Sing your heart out. Love life and everything that comes with it. Music notes, I'm gonna havta face you... Someday, somehow, soon. Be strong. When faced with life's music notes, say this... "This too shall pass... Someday, somehow, soon."
Love,
Moi
ANDREA
Note:
Don't get me wrong. One may be a good musician without knowing much about music notes. Music notes as inevitable is based on my PERSONAL situation. "I could live without music notes." That statement coming from me used to be valid but not anymore. Soon, I'll be taking up Music Production and I definitely can't escape music notes. Oh, and for the record... Music is still music when you hear it, even without notes. Take note of the word TECHNICALLY in the line that says it's not. I do think it's important to make this clear. I don't want to send the wrong message. Who would want that? ;) So yeah, just FYI. Just so you won't get me wrong. Peace ya'll. ;)
Why must one be silent to be heard? Listen.
Why must one be silent to be heard? Listen...
Everyone has a voice. The music doesn't need to stop. If one listens, it makes all the difference. Something as simple as a genuine smile or a warm hug makes a difference. Don't you think it's strange that just listening makes a person feel so much better already? Just the feeling of someone listening makes one less lonely person. But what about those who don't cry? What about those who keep a key? What about those who are scared of walking the line? What about those who got invisible tears? What about them? Listen. Pause. Listen. Just listen. Our hearts are meant to keep us alive. Our hearts are meant to feel. Our hearts are meant to love. If we breathe, if our hearts beat, if we feel but call ourselves numb, we are half dead. No one is numb. "If we FEEL but call ourselves numb..." because no one is numb. I find myself numb sometimes. But I can't deny that I still feel. I say "I am numb." but I still feel. The feeling of numbness. I guess it's the most ironic thing. But it does happen to me. To anyone. When something goes wrong. When we get tired. When we get our hearts broken. When we just don't care. But... Feelings never leave me. Feelings never leave. I guess I call it an excuse so that I may escape feelings. Feelings I don't want to feel. Feelings I don't want to know I have. Feelings I don't wan't to admit. Feelings that I don't want to entertain. That is when I am "numb"... That is the FEELING of NUMBNESS. But I wrote this note to ask why one must be silent to be heard. It is so important to be heard. It is important to listen. It is important to listen with your heart. In my dictionary, JUDGING is the antonym of LISTENING. Not everyone who looks like she/he has everything has everything. So you'll never know unless you listen. I've said "listen" 11 times so far. But that's not important. When you listen, don't take note of the words. Take note of the message. Like a song. Listen to a song. Listen to the words alone. You might appreciate the song. But listen to a song. Listen to the message of the song. You'll not only appreciate the song. You'll love it. You'll get a feeling. If you don't, you didn't listen. You didn't listen. I've said "listen" 18 times. Does it matter? No.
Richard Cory
Edwin Arlington Robinson
WHENEVER Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
“Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich,—yes, richer than a king,—
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
Someone who had it all. Seemed to. Here's another story close to my heart. Someone I used to know, Karla Escoto, died recently. I admired her a lot. She was beautiful, talented, and smart. Her album was soon to be released. I looked up to her as others did. But she's gone. She shot herself. I still could not understand why a girl like her would. I still can't figure it out. No one saw it coming. Not even her family. So why? Why? If someone cared to listen. Listen to her silent cry. If she was heard. If, if, if only. What could've happened? She still could've killed herself. But she also could've thought twice.
What about those who don't want to be heard? I don't think there is such a thing. Listen... Just listen.
Love,
ANDREA
Listen. Read between the lines.
Note:
I recently found out from a friend that it was exactly because she was not listened to.
In the suicide note, it said:
"Parents and teachers, listen to your children." Karla Escoto
Please, listen.
Everyone has a voice. The music doesn't need to stop. If one listens, it makes all the difference. Something as simple as a genuine smile or a warm hug makes a difference. Don't you think it's strange that just listening makes a person feel so much better already? Just the feeling of someone listening makes one less lonely person. But what about those who don't cry? What about those who keep a key? What about those who are scared of walking the line? What about those who got invisible tears? What about them? Listen. Pause. Listen. Just listen. Our hearts are meant to keep us alive. Our hearts are meant to feel. Our hearts are meant to love. If we breathe, if our hearts beat, if we feel but call ourselves numb, we are half dead. No one is numb. "If we FEEL but call ourselves numb..." because no one is numb. I find myself numb sometimes. But I can't deny that I still feel. I say "I am numb." but I still feel. The feeling of numbness. I guess it's the most ironic thing. But it does happen to me. To anyone. When something goes wrong. When we get tired. When we get our hearts broken. When we just don't care. But... Feelings never leave me. Feelings never leave. I guess I call it an excuse so that I may escape feelings. Feelings I don't want to feel. Feelings I don't want to know I have. Feelings I don't wan't to admit. Feelings that I don't want to entertain. That is when I am "numb"... That is the FEELING of NUMBNESS. But I wrote this note to ask why one must be silent to be heard. It is so important to be heard. It is important to listen. It is important to listen with your heart. In my dictionary, JUDGING is the antonym of LISTENING. Not everyone who looks like she/he has everything has everything. So you'll never know unless you listen. I've said "listen" 11 times so far. But that's not important. When you listen, don't take note of the words. Take note of the message. Like a song. Listen to a song. Listen to the words alone. You might appreciate the song. But listen to a song. Listen to the message of the song. You'll not only appreciate the song. You'll love it. You'll get a feeling. If you don't, you didn't listen. You didn't listen. I've said "listen" 18 times. Does it matter? No.
Richard Cory
Edwin Arlington Robinson
WHENEVER Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
“Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich,—yes, richer than a king,—
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
Someone who had it all. Seemed to. Here's another story close to my heart. Someone I used to know, Karla Escoto, died recently. I admired her a lot. She was beautiful, talented, and smart. Her album was soon to be released. I looked up to her as others did. But she's gone. She shot herself. I still could not understand why a girl like her would. I still can't figure it out. No one saw it coming. Not even her family. So why? Why? If someone cared to listen. Listen to her silent cry. If she was heard. If, if, if only. What could've happened? She still could've killed herself. But she also could've thought twice.
What about those who don't want to be heard? I don't think there is such a thing. Listen... Just listen.
Love,
ANDREA
Listen. Read between the lines.
Note:
I recently found out from a friend that it was exactly because she was not listened to.
In the suicide note, it said:
"Parents and teachers, listen to your children." Karla Escoto
Please, listen.
Hot Virgin
Yes. Virgin. Virgin voter. Virgin voter, hot to say what she's gotta, or else she'll explode and you'll definitely see lava. SO LISTEN UP.
I feel awfully bad that I was too late to register. Now I can't vote.
I just want to say what I need and want to say. I feel bad that the Philippines is on the verge of Hopelessness. Hope is what we need. I know what's goin' through your mind. And no. That's right. NO. Don't blame it all on the government. Yeah, the government needs RENOVATION. A makeover. But it doesn't all end there. It wouldn't even make sense if the real problem gets stuck in the "No remedy, please." mode. Why won't we face the real problem, talk to it, and make a change? What the hell am I talkin' about? Us. Cliche, yeah? Again, this is what I say... "Cliches are often said because they make sense. Sometimes." And this is one of them. Filipinos, we must START ENDing the corruption in our hearts. Love. Just love. That's the only way to make our history a beautiful one. You don't need to call yourself nationalistic. You just gotta be. Whoever you are, love your country. Don't be like ignorant fools. Don't be passive. Support OPMusic, OPMovies, Filipino artists, Filipino athletes, Filipinos. Love the government. Love the government, Andrea. Yeah, I say this to myself. I don't like it. But I gotta love the government. I feel like throwing up. But hey, I'll keep sayin' it and I might actually do. If you love something or someone, you don't ignore its flaws. You work it out to make things right, but you do it in a loving way. All I wanna say is, I do not like the evilness of some political leaders but I do think bein' BASTOS to them will only make me be just like them. Respect is earned. Yeah. And they don't deserve respect, yeah? No. Technically, they are still in position. So technically, we may not like it but they still deserve some respect. Yeah, I am gonna throw up. But, but, and but. Andrea, keep it cool... So yeah, we are to keep from bein' bastos. We must not make pics of them just to get a good laugh (though I know it's fun, AND funny). We must not make fun of them. I mean, why waste time doin' all these stuff? They're nonsense. Sayin' all these, I shall read this note over and over again whenever I feel like throwing tomatoes. And whenever hope is almost lost. Virgin or not virgin, listen up. Love love. Hope. Like what my shirt says... GIVE HOPE, NOT DOPE! :)
Love,
Moi
PILIPINAS, MAY PAG-ASA PA. And as the song goes... "Greater things are still to be done in this city..."
*Virgin Voter: someone who votes for the first time.
I feel awfully bad that I was too late to register. Now I can't vote.
I just want to say what I need and want to say. I feel bad that the Philippines is on the verge of Hopelessness. Hope is what we need. I know what's goin' through your mind. And no. That's right. NO. Don't blame it all on the government. Yeah, the government needs RENOVATION. A makeover. But it doesn't all end there. It wouldn't even make sense if the real problem gets stuck in the "No remedy, please." mode. Why won't we face the real problem, talk to it, and make a change? What the hell am I talkin' about? Us. Cliche, yeah? Again, this is what I say... "Cliches are often said because they make sense. Sometimes." And this is one of them. Filipinos, we must START ENDing the corruption in our hearts. Love. Just love. That's the only way to make our history a beautiful one. You don't need to call yourself nationalistic. You just gotta be. Whoever you are, love your country. Don't be like ignorant fools. Don't be passive. Support OPMusic, OPMovies, Filipino artists, Filipino athletes, Filipinos. Love the government. Love the government, Andrea. Yeah, I say this to myself. I don't like it. But I gotta love the government. I feel like throwing up. But hey, I'll keep sayin' it and I might actually do. If you love something or someone, you don't ignore its flaws. You work it out to make things right, but you do it in a loving way. All I wanna say is, I do not like the evilness of some political leaders but I do think bein' BASTOS to them will only make me be just like them. Respect is earned. Yeah. And they don't deserve respect, yeah? No. Technically, they are still in position. So technically, we may not like it but they still deserve some respect. Yeah, I am gonna throw up. But, but, and but. Andrea, keep it cool... So yeah, we are to keep from bein' bastos. We must not make pics of them just to get a good laugh (though I know it's fun, AND funny). We must not make fun of them. I mean, why waste time doin' all these stuff? They're nonsense. Sayin' all these, I shall read this note over and over again whenever I feel like throwing tomatoes. And whenever hope is almost lost. Virgin or not virgin, listen up. Love love. Hope. Like what my shirt says... GIVE HOPE, NOT DOPE! :)
Love,
Moi
PILIPINAS, MAY PAG-ASA PA. And as the song goes... "Greater things are still to be done in this city..."
*Virgin Voter: someone who votes for the first time.
Give Hope, Not Dope!
I wish we were all naked.
I Wish We Were All Naked
Andrea Moredo
I wish we were all naked,
Free from insecurities.
I wish we were all naked,
Like how it used to be.
I wish we were all naked,
With the innocence of a child.
I wish we were all naked.
Proud, beautiful, wild.
I wish we were all naked.
I wish that we could see
The beauty that we now
Often fail to see.
I wish we were all naked.
Then again...
Shopping, I love thee!
;)
Andrea Moredo
I wish we were all naked,
Free from insecurities.
I wish we were all naked,
Like how it used to be.
I wish we were all naked,
With the innocence of a child.
I wish we were all naked.
Proud, beautiful, wild.
I wish we were all naked.
I wish that we could see
The beauty that we now
Often fail to see.
I wish we were all naked.
Then again...
Shopping, I love thee!
;)
Dear John SERIES
Dear John (Final Last Call): my version. I HATE YOU. PART 6
You said...
"We were lovers. Let's keep it that.""The reason we can't be friends is 'cause I like you."
Dear John,
I'll pretend to hate you like you said I should. I don't understand your reasons, but I trust you.
Sincerely,
I HATE THAT I LIKE YOU A LOT.
And the hardest part...
I'll keep my stubborn heart from writing to you. This is my last note, dear John. But you know that I'll be there for and with you when you need me. I'll be there. You know just what to do. I'll miss you. And you know I already do.
You'll always be my Boo. And that's why I HATE YOU.
;)
Dear John SERIES
Dear John (Last Part): my version. When the music stops... it stops. PART 5
Dear John,
NOT.
This is meant for you to read. Not for others to. If you happen to come across this note, good.
"We never had friendship." came as a shock to me. It hit me like a bullet. Sudden and deadly.
My bad. Sorry, I just had no idea. I got it all wrong. I was the one doing things in vain.
You got what you wanted.
Sincerely,
I'm done here.
P.S.
Thank you for the memories. Or not. Suddenly not so sure. But I'll say it anyway. Thank you. No sarcasm.
I've no regrets. I learn.
Yet I'm left with endless questions echoing in my head, like a broken record. But I'm not broken. I'm not falling apart. I'm... speechless. I'm... feeling the Feeling of Numbness. I'm... *silence*
The End.
When the music stops... it stops. Life goes on.
Dear John,
NOT.
This is meant for you to read. Not for others to. If you happen to come across this note, good.
"We never had friendship." came as a shock to me. It hit me like a bullet. Sudden and deadly.
My bad. Sorry, I just had no idea. I got it all wrong. I was the one doing things in vain.
You got what you wanted.
Sincerely,
I'm done here.
P.S.
Thank you for the memories. Or not. Suddenly not so sure. But I'll say it anyway. Thank you. No sarcasm.
I've no regrets. I learn.
Yet I'm left with endless questions echoing in my head, like a broken record. But I'm not broken. I'm not falling apart. I'm... speechless. I'm... feeling the Feeling of Numbness. I'm... *silence*
The End.
When the music stops... it stops. Life goes on.
Dear John SERIES
Dear John (The Paused Part): my version. When the music is on "pause", it won't play or stop unless you make it. PART 4
Dear John,
Or not.
Again, this is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. It’s merely for my silently screaming heart that's tired of reading between the lines. And needs to breathe. But if you happen to come across this note… I need this. And maybe you do too. But again, this isn't meant for you to read... But this time, maybe I want you to. So listen. Just listen.
I let you go because I thought I could save our friendship. But now you're letting me go. And what's left of us is a half-dead friendship lying on the ground naked. Why? Because it seems like that's what you want. I get what you're doing. But lemme tell you something. It's not working. You know that I'm here to stay. You know that our friendship isn't one that I could just throw away. So what I'm saying is that if you don't want to keep me,
Dear John, just say so...
You don't need to pretend to be someone else and make yourself look bad to turn me off. It's no use, I tell you. Don't you see? You've done that a couple of times before and look, I'm still here. I mean, what's there to lose when you've already turned the switch off lotsa times? I know that you are far from perfect. I already know that. So why not save yourself from doing something in vain? A real friend loves unconditionally. That's exactly what I am. A friend. If you can't accept that, if you can't accept me as a friend,
Dear John, just say so...
I don't expect much from you. We've been through a lot and you've already turned me down lotsa times. I can't deny that I did expect a little. But I'd be a stupid pathetic fool (redundant isn't it?) if I still expect from you. When you told me to consider you as lost, subconscious expectations of you as a better man left me. That was when I kissed romance goodbye. But friendship never left. He hesitated just because. He told my heart to keep you. He reminded me that it's not the end of a friendship after the end of a romance. He made me shake hands with the meaning of depth. He taught me to let go of expectations because it'll only hold us down. So believe me when I say I don't expect much from you anymore. If I do, I'd get my heart broken a thousand times. I won't waste time hurting myself. Someone once told me that I'm better than that. And that someone happens to be you. So
Dear John, I don't expect much from you. The only thing I want is that you'd be real with me. That you'd be just yourself with me. That's it. That's it. It isn't so hard. That is if you want to keep me. So if you don't want to,
Dear John, just say so...
And I
Sigh... And a thousand more.
I'm not asking for another shot. I want you to say what you want to say. And mean it.
When the music is on "pause", it won't play or stop unless you make it. So
Dear John, just say so...
And when you do, mean it. Don't say it just so that. Say it because you mean it. And when you do, I'll be gone. If that's what you want.
Otherwise, you know that
Sincerely,
I'm here to stay.
P.S.
I don't usually say this (Because when I do, I mean it.), but I do think I know exactly how you feel about expectations and the mere concept of it. It actually feels as though I'm talking to myself. In court, I know a lot who'll witness to it. To the fact that I tell the world I'll let him down. Over and over again. I know someone (or someoneS) out there who'll read this note nodding and saying that he/she's heard that from me more than once. "I'll let you down." Sometimes even, expectations get the best of me. You've no idea. And that is why unconditional love became so important to me. I just want you to know that I'm not saying all these as someone who knows nothing about how you feel. Trust me. I know.
:)
Dear John,
Or not.
Again, this is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. It’s merely for my silently screaming heart that's tired of reading between the lines. And needs to breathe. But if you happen to come across this note… I need this. And maybe you do too. But again, this isn't meant for you to read... But this time, maybe I want you to. So listen. Just listen.
I let you go because I thought I could save our friendship. But now you're letting me go. And what's left of us is a half-dead friendship lying on the ground naked. Why? Because it seems like that's what you want. I get what you're doing. But lemme tell you something. It's not working. You know that I'm here to stay. You know that our friendship isn't one that I could just throw away. So what I'm saying is that if you don't want to keep me,
Dear John, just say so...
You don't need to pretend to be someone else and make yourself look bad to turn me off. It's no use, I tell you. Don't you see? You've done that a couple of times before and look, I'm still here. I mean, what's there to lose when you've already turned the switch off lotsa times? I know that you are far from perfect. I already know that. So why not save yourself from doing something in vain? A real friend loves unconditionally. That's exactly what I am. A friend. If you can't accept that, if you can't accept me as a friend,
Dear John, just say so...
I don't expect much from you. We've been through a lot and you've already turned me down lotsa times. I can't deny that I did expect a little. But I'd be a stupid pathetic fool (redundant isn't it?) if I still expect from you. When you told me to consider you as lost, subconscious expectations of you as a better man left me. That was when I kissed romance goodbye. But friendship never left. He hesitated just because. He told my heart to keep you. He reminded me that it's not the end of a friendship after the end of a romance. He made me shake hands with the meaning of depth. He taught me to let go of expectations because it'll only hold us down. So believe me when I say I don't expect much from you anymore. If I do, I'd get my heart broken a thousand times. I won't waste time hurting myself. Someone once told me that I'm better than that. And that someone happens to be you. So
Dear John, I don't expect much from you. The only thing I want is that you'd be real with me. That you'd be just yourself with me. That's it. That's it. It isn't so hard. That is if you want to keep me. So if you don't want to,
Dear John, just say so...
And I
Sigh... And a thousand more.
I'm not asking for another shot. I want you to say what you want to say. And mean it.
When the music is on "pause", it won't play or stop unless you make it. So
Dear John, just say so...
And when you do, mean it. Don't say it just so that. Say it because you mean it. And when you do, I'll be gone. If that's what you want.
Otherwise, you know that
Sincerely,
I'm here to stay.
P.S.
I don't usually say this (Because when I do, I mean it.), but I do think I know exactly how you feel about expectations and the mere concept of it. It actually feels as though I'm talking to myself. In court, I know a lot who'll witness to it. To the fact that I tell the world I'll let him down. Over and over again. I know someone (or someoneS) out there who'll read this note nodding and saying that he/she's heard that from me more than once. "I'll let you down." Sometimes even, expectations get the best of me. You've no idea. And that is why unconditional love became so important to me. I just want you to know that I'm not saying all these as someone who knows nothing about how you feel. Trust me. I know.
:)
Dear John SERIES
Dear John (Part Two and A Half): my version. How do you keep the music playing? Now the question is if you'll keep it playing. PART 3
Dear John,
Or not.
Again, this is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. It’s merely for my silently screaming heart that’s unsure of itself. But if you happen to come across this note… I need this. Don’t make a fuss out of it.
How do you keep the music playing? Now the question is if you'll keep the music playing. I’ve done my part of trying to restore what we lost—friendship. Now you're doing yours. Subtly. You’re not that distant anymore. And I like that. Because you know, I’m tired. I’m exhausted. And because you mean so much to me. "It’s hard to take in the thought of a dysfunctional romance, but it’s so much harder to take in the thought of a dead friendship." But now that I feel you again, I'm not so numb anymore. I'm not so hopeless anymore. Then again, the question is if you'll keep the music playing. Your sincerity is now in question. All that’s left to say is… “We'll see.”
Sincerely,
I want you to keep me.
P.S.
I missed you.
Dear John,
Or not.
Again, this is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. It’s merely for my silently screaming heart that’s unsure of itself. But if you happen to come across this note… I need this. Don’t make a fuss out of it.
How do you keep the music playing? Now the question is if you'll keep the music playing. I’ve done my part of trying to restore what we lost—friendship. Now you're doing yours. Subtly. You’re not that distant anymore. And I like that. Because you know, I’m tired. I’m exhausted. And because you mean so much to me. "It’s hard to take in the thought of a dysfunctional romance, but it’s so much harder to take in the thought of a dead friendship." But now that I feel you again, I'm not so numb anymore. I'm not so hopeless anymore. Then again, the question is if you'll keep the music playing. Your sincerity is now in question. All that’s left to say is… “We'll see.”
Sincerely,
I want you to keep me.
P.S.
I missed you.
Dear John SERIES
Dear John: my version. How deep? How shallow? How do you keep the music playing? PART 2
Dear John,
Or not.
Again, this is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. It’s merely for my silently screaming heart that’s been dying to vent. But if you happen to come across this note… This is part of the remedy, so bear with it. Don’t make a fuss out of it.
How deep? How shallow? How do you keep the music playing? I’m not oblivious to the situation. But I mean, that’s it? She should just let him go? Just like that. She just has to accept that she lost one of her most treasured friends? Seven years of friendship. Everything was goin’ right. Then the romantic part came like a hurricane. I’ve done my part of trying to restore what we lost—friendship. I know we’re okay. That is if “okay” means not fighting, no hard feelings and all… but. But when we talk, he’s just not there. He’s not who I used to talk to. Not who I used to know. Not who I used to like. He’s distant. And I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I know why I want him back so badly. Because he means a lot to me. With all honesty, believe it or not, I want him back as a friend. With how things turned out, I guess a romantic relationship just won’t work. It just made things so complicated and I’m afraid it’ll just happen again. A scratched record. But now I feel like it’s unfair. It’s hard to take in the thought of a dysfunctional romance, but it’s so much harder to take in the thought of a dead friendship. I didn’t want that. I know he didn’t too. Now I’m down to two options: to let him go (one of the hardest things to do), and to keep trying (making myself feel like a desperate fool). So, I got my obvious answer. It just sucks. Again, how deep? How shallow? How do you keep the music playing? The depth of our friendship is now in question. All that’s left to say is… “Ok. Cool.”
Sincerely,
I care. But I’m done here.
Dear John,
Or not.
Again, this is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. It’s merely for my silently screaming heart that’s been dying to vent. But if you happen to come across this note… This is part of the remedy, so bear with it. Don’t make a fuss out of it.
How deep? How shallow? How do you keep the music playing? I’m not oblivious to the situation. But I mean, that’s it? She should just let him go? Just like that. She just has to accept that she lost one of her most treasured friends? Seven years of friendship. Everything was goin’ right. Then the romantic part came like a hurricane. I’ve done my part of trying to restore what we lost—friendship. I know we’re okay. That is if “okay” means not fighting, no hard feelings and all… but. But when we talk, he’s just not there. He’s not who I used to talk to. Not who I used to know. Not who I used to like. He’s distant. And I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I know why I want him back so badly. Because he means a lot to me. With all honesty, believe it or not, I want him back as a friend. With how things turned out, I guess a romantic relationship just won’t work. It just made things so complicated and I’m afraid it’ll just happen again. A scratched record. But now I feel like it’s unfair. It’s hard to take in the thought of a dysfunctional romance, but it’s so much harder to take in the thought of a dead friendship. I didn’t want that. I know he didn’t too. Now I’m down to two options: to let him go (one of the hardest things to do), and to keep trying (making myself feel like a desperate fool). So, I got my obvious answer. It just sucks. Again, how deep? How shallow? How do you keep the music playing? The depth of our friendship is now in question. All that’s left to say is… “Ok. Cool.”
Sincerely,
I care. But I’m done here.
Dear John SERIES
Dear John: my version. Just Because… PART1
Just because it’s Valentine’s Day that I say these words.
Dear John,
Or not.
This is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. It’s merely for my silently screaming heart that is dying to vent. But if you happen to come across this note, and decide to read it, I just want you to know that I don’t want to cause a fire. So please, spare me the hot seat. And excuse me for makin’ myself sound like a fool, a drama queen.
I don’t know how you think of me now. You used to wonder. It’s my turn. Now I wonder. But the word “serious” has never been the same again. It suddenly became a word that I'm now cautious about. Not because it’s wrong. Because it isn’t. But because there’s something in the way it made and makes things so complicated. I guess you knew me at a time when I needed security. Call it wrong timing, I don’t know. It’s weird that it had to be with you. I say I was scared. I suppose you were too. You said you liked me a lot. I liked you too. A lot. You were awful! So not my type. And insensitive. But you were wonderful. So my type. And sweet. You and I. Ironic. I loved how we used to work things out. How you teased me with you, and vice versa. How we laughed and talked about anything. How we were. We were both open-minded. Before the word “serious” came up. And the words “don’t talk to me for a while” made such a difference. Then I wished you were more spontaneous. I wished you were the type who’d call me and ask me out just like that. Or the type who’d call in the middle of the night just to hear my voice. Or take a hint when I want to see you. I wished a lot. I wished you were You. I guess I made the wrong move, pouring my heart out to you just like that. I’m not that type. I’m supposed to be that passive one. It was different with you. It was all different. I’m not all over you. I’m not head over heels for you. I love you but I’m not in love with you. Not yet. Whatever. And if you courted me, I wouldn’t have said yes. But I did like you. Sometimes I pretend that I don’t. Like now. Ugh. I’m talking nonsense now. It’s funny how I don’t go out with the other guys who ask, but I did and would with you. It’s funny how I don’t miss the other guys who miss me, but I did and do miss you. It’s funny how you don’t miss me and I’m okay with it. It’s funny that I hate that you are so different. I hate that I can’t resist you. It wasn’t the plan. It wasn’t supposed to happen. You dreamt of me in a car and you liked what you saw. You dreamt of me as a vampire you couldn’t dare to kill. We were supposed to just be. Just be. We were. Then I messed up. I pushed you away. Subconsciously. Or consciously. But that’s how I am. That’s me. I know it’s wrong. It’s a flaw. I push people away. Just like that. No explanation. And that’s how it all began to end. I told you to stop texting/talking to me for a while. I was cold for a time. I disconnected with you. I pushed you away. Not that I didn’t want you. Truth is, I was scared that I’d get attached. Another flaw. Scared. A coward. Then when I thought things over and wanted you to stay, I was too late. You changed. I changed. We changed. Everything changed. We had nothing much to talk about. It was, as you said, dry. When you told me to consider you as lost, and reasoned that I deserve someone better, I knew you were right. And I knew you were wrong. It had everything to do with how we handled it. How I handled it. How I was off. How I was scared. How you were scared. How we were in denial. How I made things complicated. How we never got to go out often. How I came across. How we kept holding back. How we hesitated. How I hesitated without you noticing. I tried to save us. I tried to compromise. I failed. Tried. Failed. Tried. Failed. This time, I’m doin’ it the way I used to. Letting it go. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Just let it go. So yeah, I lost. But I found. I’m letting you go.
I remember the first time I talked to you. Years ago. I asked the silliest question. I remember the first time I liked you. Years ago. I kept it a secret. I remember the first time in a long time I saw you. At a concert. I remember the first time we dated. I remember the first time we held hands. I remember the first time we kissed. I remember the first time we heard nothing but silence and heartbeat. I remember the first time you looked into my eyes with such passion. I remember the first time you told me you liked me. On a bridge under a starlit sky. Now the bridge has fallen, and the stars refuse to shine.
I’ve no regrets. I learn. That undeniably weird and indefinable connection is still here. The sound of your handsome voice still serenades me. The electric feel still lingers. But we were slow dancing in a burning room. I don’t want to lose you, so I’m letting you go.
But again, just because it’s Valentine’s Day… And it’s the only way.
Then again, I might just regret saying the words I said. Ugh. I already am.
Sincerely,
You will always be my Boo.
(Funny, I'm saying what you used to say...)
Okay. Enough with the drama. Spare me the hot seat.
:)
Just because it’s Valentine’s Day that I say these words.
Dear John,
Or not.
This is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. It’s merely for my silently screaming heart that is dying to vent. But if you happen to come across this note, and decide to read it, I just want you to know that I don’t want to cause a fire. So please, spare me the hot seat. And excuse me for makin’ myself sound like a fool, a drama queen.
I don’t know how you think of me now. You used to wonder. It’s my turn. Now I wonder. But the word “serious” has never been the same again. It suddenly became a word that I'm now cautious about. Not because it’s wrong. Because it isn’t. But because there’s something in the way it made and makes things so complicated. I guess you knew me at a time when I needed security. Call it wrong timing, I don’t know. It’s weird that it had to be with you. I say I was scared. I suppose you were too. You said you liked me a lot. I liked you too. A lot. You were awful! So not my type. And insensitive. But you were wonderful. So my type. And sweet. You and I. Ironic. I loved how we used to work things out. How you teased me with you, and vice versa. How we laughed and talked about anything. How we were. We were both open-minded. Before the word “serious” came up. And the words “don’t talk to me for a while” made such a difference. Then I wished you were more spontaneous. I wished you were the type who’d call me and ask me out just like that. Or the type who’d call in the middle of the night just to hear my voice. Or take a hint when I want to see you. I wished a lot. I wished you were You. I guess I made the wrong move, pouring my heart out to you just like that. I’m not that type. I’m supposed to be that passive one. It was different with you. It was all different. I’m not all over you. I’m not head over heels for you. I love you but I’m not in love with you. Not yet. Whatever. And if you courted me, I wouldn’t have said yes. But I did like you. Sometimes I pretend that I don’t. Like now. Ugh. I’m talking nonsense now. It’s funny how I don’t go out with the other guys who ask, but I did and would with you. It’s funny how I don’t miss the other guys who miss me, but I did and do miss you. It’s funny how you don’t miss me and I’m okay with it. It’s funny that I hate that you are so different. I hate that I can’t resist you. It wasn’t the plan. It wasn’t supposed to happen. You dreamt of me in a car and you liked what you saw. You dreamt of me as a vampire you couldn’t dare to kill. We were supposed to just be. Just be. We were. Then I messed up. I pushed you away. Subconsciously. Or consciously. But that’s how I am. That’s me. I know it’s wrong. It’s a flaw. I push people away. Just like that. No explanation. And that’s how it all began to end. I told you to stop texting/talking to me for a while. I was cold for a time. I disconnected with you. I pushed you away. Not that I didn’t want you. Truth is, I was scared that I’d get attached. Another flaw. Scared. A coward. Then when I thought things over and wanted you to stay, I was too late. You changed. I changed. We changed. Everything changed. We had nothing much to talk about. It was, as you said, dry. When you told me to consider you as lost, and reasoned that I deserve someone better, I knew you were right. And I knew you were wrong. It had everything to do with how we handled it. How I handled it. How I was off. How I was scared. How you were scared. How we were in denial. How I made things complicated. How we never got to go out often. How I came across. How we kept holding back. How we hesitated. How I hesitated without you noticing. I tried to save us. I tried to compromise. I failed. Tried. Failed. Tried. Failed. This time, I’m doin’ it the way I used to. Letting it go. That’s what we’re supposed to do. Just let it go. So yeah, I lost. But I found. I’m letting you go.
I remember the first time I talked to you. Years ago. I asked the silliest question. I remember the first time I liked you. Years ago. I kept it a secret. I remember the first time in a long time I saw you. At a concert. I remember the first time we dated. I remember the first time we held hands. I remember the first time we kissed. I remember the first time we heard nothing but silence and heartbeat. I remember the first time you looked into my eyes with such passion. I remember the first time you told me you liked me. On a bridge under a starlit sky. Now the bridge has fallen, and the stars refuse to shine.
I’ve no regrets. I learn. That undeniably weird and indefinable connection is still here. The sound of your handsome voice still serenades me. The electric feel still lingers. But we were slow dancing in a burning room. I don’t want to lose you, so I’m letting you go.
But again, just because it’s Valentine’s Day… And it’s the only way.
Then again, I might just regret saying the words I said. Ugh. I already am.
Sincerely,
You will always be my Boo.
(Funny, I'm saying what you used to say...)
Okay. Enough with the drama. Spare me the hot seat.
:)
Sonnet Fourteen, For Me, For Love, For...
If thou must love me, let it be for naught
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
"I love her for her smile--her look--her way
Of speaking gently,--for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day" -
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,--and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry, -
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
"I love her for her smile--her look--her way
Of speaking gently,--for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day" -
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,--and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry, -
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
The Alchemist
"One is loved because one is loved."
Unlike Rexona, I'd let you down.
But there are those who still love me no matter how ugly, prissy, or crazy I may be.
I don't understand why they understand me. But... it feels good. And I could not ask for more.
Thank you. A lot.
Sincerely & with love,
ANDREA
Tryin' to find the voice I lost. Thanks to you.
Unlike Rexona, I'd let you down.
But there are those who still love me no matter how ugly, prissy, or crazy I may be.
I don't understand why they understand me. But... it feels good. And I could not ask for more.
Thank you. A lot.
Sincerely & with love,
ANDREA
Tryin' to find the voice I lost. Thanks to you.
If... What then?
(Stephen Crane)
If I should cast off this tattered coat,
And go free into the mighty sky;
If I should find nothing there
But a vast blue,
Echoless, ignorant --
What then?
Yeah, what then...
If I should cast off this tattered coat,
And go free into the mighty sky;
If I should find nothing there
But a vast blue,
Echoless, ignorant --
What then?
Yeah, what then...
Who says...
I love "doll-ing" myself up. BUT...
I am not a doll at all times.
Lately, I've been loving the "ugly" me. When my hair is all messed up, my skin has boo-boo's, my lips are painted with that boring nude color, and so on...
This is when I take my mask off, lay in bed with nothing but undies and a loose T-shirt on, look in the mirror and say, "I like you this way, gorgeous"
It's when you are "ugly" that you see the beauty in you.
Well, that's for me.
I am not a doll at all times. And me likey... :)
And yes dear, resonate is the perfect word.
BTW, I just had my hair dyed red. LOL :)) Take me to Vegas. NOW! Hahahahahahaha!
P.S.
One night, I went to a bakeshop wearing pajamas. Pajamas, baby! And it wasn't even that late so I had no excuse. Hahaha! I could see myself laughing and makin' fun of myself, seriously. Lol! But I loved it. Next time, Imma crash a grand ball in my swimsuit.
Nah... ;))
I am not a doll at all times.
Lately, I've been loving the "ugly" me. When my hair is all messed up, my skin has boo-boo's, my lips are painted with that boring nude color, and so on...
This is when I take my mask off, lay in bed with nothing but undies and a loose T-shirt on, look in the mirror and say, "I like you this way, gorgeous"
It's when you are "ugly" that you see the beauty in you.
Well, that's for me.
I am not a doll at all times. And me likey... :)
And yes dear, resonate is the perfect word.
BTW, I just had my hair dyed red. LOL :)) Take me to Vegas. NOW! Hahahahahahaha!
P.S.
One night, I went to a bakeshop wearing pajamas. Pajamas, baby! And it wasn't even that late so I had no excuse. Hahaha! I could see myself laughing and makin' fun of myself, seriously. Lol! But I loved it. Next time, Imma crash a grand ball in my swimsuit.
Nah... ;))
Only
You're the only guy in my life who gets away with his lies, breaks my heart a million times, and still have my heart. It's not so hard to hate you. But I choose not to. I love you :)
Really now...
He told me KN's and MA's "secret" --that the singer went to Europe to hide from the shame of the Diva-No-More syndrome; and that the powerful politician wanted his company so that he could survive loneliness, counting the days before he and his family leave the Rich & Famous scene.
He told me that it's better to live a normal life.
I laughed. Sorry.
I know now why I seem to love what is real and hate what is not. Because of you. You deserve an applause. You're so good at this! So used to it. Wow. I don't know when I should believe you and when I should not. Even when you say you love me.
But hey, I love you. I still do. Thank God.
I know you love me too.
He told me that it's better to live a normal life.
I laughed. Sorry.
I know now why I seem to love what is real and hate what is not. Because of you. You deserve an applause. You're so good at this! So used to it. Wow. I don't know when I should believe you and when I should not. Even when you say you love me.
But hey, I love you. I still do. Thank God.
I know you love me too.
Words
Dear YOU,
Words don't mean a thing unless they're from someone who means the world to you.
Actions speak louder than words. But look at what words make you do.
Words don't always mean what they're supposed to. Always between the lines.
Words are ironic.
Words could make you cry, tears of joy/pain.
Words are like a potion. They could make you fall in love, or could make you fall away.
Words are bestfriends with Inspiration and/or Heartbreak.
Words are read, heard
Then forgotten, unspoken
...unless you start to think about what your words do.
What do your words do?
Love,
ANDREA
Words don't mean a thing unless they're from someone who means the world to you.
Actions speak louder than words. But look at what words make you do.
Words don't always mean what they're supposed to. Always between the lines.
Words are ironic.
Words could make you cry, tears of joy/pain.
Words are like a potion. They could make you fall in love, or could make you fall away.
Words are bestfriends with Inspiration and/or Heartbreak.
Words are read, heard
Then forgotten, unspoken
...unless you start to think about what your words do.
What do your words do?
Love,
ANDREA
Hug
FREE HUG!!! The story behind this "Free Hugs Campaign" thing inspired me to inspire others with it. Scientific Research Has Shown the Following: - Every human being needs four hugs per day merely to survive. - Eight hugs per day to maintain oneself at a strong emotional level. - Twelve hugs per day to grow and become a better person. So... FREE HUG anyone??? :))
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