DEAR JOHN SERIES

Dear John:If you run.

Dear John,

You finally found her. I finally got my answer and I finally know what to do. I still don't understand a lot, but I'll keep it at that. I'm done tryin' to understand you. I guess I was never meant to. I'm happy for both of you. It's just a shame that you made me a total stranger. I'm leaving soon, so goodbye. Friends, lovers, nothing.

Be good to her. She deserves to be treated well. Be happy and make her happy.

Sincerely,

I was scared you'll forget about me. Now that it has happened, it's my turn to forget about you.

Have a nice life, stranger.

EPIPHANY by ANDREA

played an octave higher

MALASIMBO Music & Arts Festival

I’ve just experienced a one-of-a-kind trip that I definitely would not forget—the first Malasimbo Music & Arts Festival held outdoors in a natural amphitheater at the foot of Mount Malasimbo last February 18 & 19, 2011. Mount Malasimbo is overlooking the Puerto Galera Bay, a member of the Club of Most Beautiful Bays in the World, recognized by UNESCO. Imagine that. The festival was a success as it aimed to blend traditional and contemporary arts and culture together with musical performances, whilst working towards protection and sustainability of the environment.

Aside from the music, the festival also featured art installations by contemporary Filipino artists such as Arellano’s “Haliya, Moon Goddess”, Bonnevie’s “Dappay”, Dondi and Grace Katigbak’s sculptures, and Lagdameo’s “Behemoth”. All the artists are advocates of sustainable living.

A Mangyan Village also showcased the distinct houses of the 7 different Mangyan Tribes showing their indigenous art and crafts.

The festival was a success also because its aim to upgrade the local tourism was fulfilled. The crowd was a mix of Filipinos and people from Europe, Australia, America and Asia. It was heartwarming that people from around the world came to witness this wonderful event, coming together for the love of music, arts and culture.

The first day featured Julien Drolon, Miro, Diwa De Leo, Caliph8, Live Fillet, Mark Zero, Toto Delgado, Pasta Groove and Nomad Technology. What’s interesting is that these artists don’t only make music, but also speak through music, play for a cause. On a mission for peace, Julien Drolon combines pop, reggae, funk, and rock to promote a cause close to his heart. His debut album is due to release in April 2011. A composer, arranger, film scorer and musician, Diwa De leon’s Hegalong Project focuses on the use of the hegalong, a Philippine two-string lute/guitar & combining it with different music genres. Toto Delgado’s love for the environment and life makes an impact on his compositions. He is a local legend based in Puerto Galera Mindoro that plays folk, rock and jazz.

The second day featured Complex vs Miro, Aquarela, Pasta Groove, Cynthia Alexander, Caliph8, Kadangyan, Kristian Hernandez, Rhosam Prudenciado, Mark Zero, Gongmyoung, Liquid A vs Badkiss, Nyko Maca & GAFiEiRA, DJ Krush, Heavy Boogie. I was impressed by Kadangyan who fuses different Filipino traditional beats with an element of today’s modern music by combining the use of indigenous instruments with modern drums and bass guitar. As a Filipino, Kadangyan made me all the more proud of my country’s rich culture. I’m pretty sure everyone there felt the same. DJ Complex devoted to true hiphop and the art of Djing Complex solidified his position in Australian hiphop scene with his heavy rotation style both in clubs and on air. Kristian Hernandez, DJ, turntablist, producer, musician & designer has moved dancefloors across the globe, using influences from Afro Latin rhythms, jazz subdivisions, from house music, funk, soul, and beyond. Gongmyoung, a Korean percussion quartet composed of Lim Yong-Ju, Park Seung-Won, Song Kyong-Keun, and Kang Sun-II, fusing innovative modern sounds with traditional Korean music. Since their debut, they have become “ambassadors” of traditional Korean music. Nyko Maca & GAFiEiRA, using samba, reggae, jazz, funk, and soul, has crated a new genre of “neo-vintage Brasilipino”, which combines Brazilian musical sensibilities with lyrics rooted in contemporary Filipino experience. DJ Krush is a gifted producer and DJ, worldy-acclaimed with his superb sense in sound mixing and production. Since 1994, he has produced countless releases worldwide, constantly ranking in international charts. “Zen” won Best Electronic Album in the 2002 AIFM Awards (US) while “Jaku” topped RPM chart of CMJ for 3 weeks. He continues to make a huge impact in the international music scene.

Experiences like this don’t come around so often, and I’m extremely happy that I was able to experience that kind of euphoria this Malasimbo event drenched me in. Coming back, I realized that I left and brought something. I left bits of my soul in Puerto Galera and brought too-good-to-be-true memories to Manila. Malasimbo Music & Arts Festival was a blast!

What I was told is now what I know.

If you expect me to be the best, I'll only disappoint you. Because I don't measure my worth according to your definition of best. I'll live as I wish (without stepping on anybody), and hopefully you'll like how I live. If you don't, too bad. No one ever has to drain themselves for the approval of anyone. The world (or anyone) 's definition of best should not define you. You are THE best because not one person is exactly like you. I'm Andrea and no one is exactly like me. And never will there be. So get up and do your thing. Sometimes, there's a need to not give a damn. This is it. And this is what I'm trying to do.

But.

I may not be the best, but this is me striving to be a better man every time the sun rises... and part of that is learning from my past every time the sun sets. I'm so scared of a lot of things, but I'm learning to take risks. How will you fly if you don't let go? I'm learning to love love again. Even if it scares the hell out of me. You should do the same.

Dear John SERIES

John.

Okay. Now tell me why.

...Wow. Strangers, indeed.

I dreamt of Gucci Zus.

I dreamt of Gucci Zus.

According to my dream, Gucci Zus is a special kind of flower that blooms instantly and by itself. It is beautiful, unique, mysterious and magical.

I wish there were Gucci Zus in my waking life.

Amazed.

Learning.

One of the best things in life is learning. Learning to love, learning to live, learning to move on, learning to breathe, learning to let go, learning to have fun, learning to be strong, learning to wait, learning to get up, learning to laugh, learning to cry, learning to dream, learning to know what you want, learning to learn. It's February, and I just had the longest January. There are things that still keep me up at night. Dreams and nightmares that still disturb me. Things I wish happened or would happen. But there are moments that make me remember how amazing life is, how life has its way of dealing with what has to be dealt with. Alanis Morissette knew. Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face.

I'm learning.

Dear John SERIES

Dear John,

Or not.

It's been the longest January. This is one of the most honest (and perhaps the most embarrassing) notes you'll ever "come across"... I'll skip the intro. You already know.

You once told me that you think I don't know what I want. Well, I do. I want you. But I want more of you. I want you to want more of me. I want you to want to know me. And I mean get to know me. I want time. But I can't demand that. And it makes me mad. Not at you. But at myself. Because I miss you. And I hate it.

I thought I could live with it. But I'm barely hanging on. I end up just lying to you and to myself. And it gets tiring. A box of denial, hesitation, blurry lines, compromise, inconsistencies. All because of the same fear of losing you. Now, isn't that familiar? And why the fear? There are just some things that I can't explain.

But you don't control me. And that's why I'm writing this.

You turned it all around. I hope you're happy now. The heart breaker meets her match. You definitely win. You don't deserve me like I don't deserve you. Don't keep me waiting. You know I don't like to wait. I had fun, that I can't deny. We had fun. But there's more to me, to life and love. That's what I wish you knew. I want a man who makes me feel wanted, adored, special. And right now, that's not you.

I was okay with just havin' fun. But it didn't mean I was okay with you taking me for granted. I got worth. Too bad you still don't know how to hold on to it.

And that's for making me miss you.

Sincerely,

I'd be lying to you and to myself again if I told you goodbye.

We both know that weird indefinable connection stays. So I'll be honest and say that I don't know exactly what to do with you. So, whatever. I guess I'll just end by saying... Have a nice life!

P.S.

Sigh... I just gotta say this.

I miss Star. But I don't want to take it back. So...

I'm still hoping for THE gift. Just sayin'...

Dear John SERIES

Dear John,

There are things that I can't tell you because of my pride. Like...

I'm mad because I miss you.

And when I do, I pretend that I don't. That's when I seem kinda off.

Sincerely,

Sorry if I've been kinda off lately...

Learning to breathe.

by Andrea Moredo on Saturday, January 8, 2011 at 10:08am

Dear God,
It is the eighth of January on my twentieth year. I know I've been a b*tch somehow. Numb, stubborn, selfish. I did things. You would know. Interesting things that most would call wild. And it's cliche if I tell you I regret them. But the thing is, I don't. I don't regret them. I'm actually happy they happened. They're experiences, I learn. Fun, insightful. Sigh... Sorry for not being sorry. I don't want to lie.
I keep wanting to touch you. I keep wanting to know you're real. I keep making reasons and breaking rules. I hate rules. I keep wanting an explanation. I can't even tell you that I love you anymore. It's like I don't feel a thing. I still don't know much. Questions without answers. I still dare you to be real to me. Because I still doubt who you are. Or if you even exist. For that, I am slightly sorry. And for that, I am so sorry.
But I've decided to just let it go. If this is what you call surrender.
And yeah, the word still makes me shiver. "Surrender." *shivers*
Then again, isn't that the point? Doin' something you don't want is surrendering.
I'm doin' this because I'm bored and I want change. There's gotta be more to life. Stacie Orrico knew.
So this is not the expected reason. So I'm not so inspiring. So I sound like a total sinner, I sound so wrong.
But I don't know exactly what and how to tell you. My prayers are rusty, and I don't want to blurt out lies.
So this is the way that I say I need you. This is the way that I say I'm yours. This is the way that I'm learning to breathe. Break my fall. Be strong enough.
Sincerely,
ANDREA

There's gotta be more to life.

by Andrea Moredo on Friday, January 7, 2011 at 7:18pm

I want more.

I've had enough of something not enough.

Change is beautiful! Yeauh!

Dear John SERIES

Sweetly Stubborn Stranger

John,

This is not meant for you to read. Nor is it for others to. But if you happen to come across this note,

Sigh... Just don't flatter yourself too much, okay?

Stranger,

You're sweetly stubborn.

And I hate that you know I like it.

Ugh. How you make me smile when I'm mad. How your kiss makes me shut up. How you turn everything around! Ugh! How dare you?!

Sincerely,

Someone misses you too.

But pretend you don't know that. It's a stranger's little secret.